Funny enough, but the real laughs come from Steve Martin’s velvety delivery of the lines accompanied by the lull of vague Christmas music in the background. The game of the sketch is Steve Martin first declaring his selfless holiday wish to be “for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace,” but then quickly rethinking the wishes and/or order of the wishes to be about getting revenge on his enemies and banging models instead. That’s because, if you were to just read the transcript of “A Holiday Wish” you’d probably find it semi-to-moderately humorous - but ultimately it’s Steve Martin’s hilarious delivery that makes this sketch a classic. I’m not a pronunciation teacher, but if I were, I’d have my students watch this sketch every December before we went on winter break from our weird pronunciation school.
If you’re as prudish and Scroogeish as I am, you’ll still enjoy peeking into the bleak background of Margaret and Terry as they describe their Christmas lists at the top of the sketch (“I really got greedy this year, I’m asking Kris Kringle this year for a wooden bowl, some oversize index cards, and a funnel.”) And yet I still find myself watching the sketch every year, if only to feel superior about securing my spot on Santa’s “Nice List” for my refusal to give in to sin. From there they make 1,000 innuendos using the term Schweddy balls (which sounds like sweaty balls!!!!) and a good time is had by all. The basic gist of the sketch is this: Dull-voiced NPR hosts Margaret Jo McCullin and Terry Rialto (Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer) invite baker Pete Schweddy (Alec Baldwin) onto their show “The Delicious Dish” to discuss his family’s famous holiday recipe: Schweddy balls.
I’m going to be real with you guys: I personally do not care for “Schweddy Balls.” But after speaking to my sources, i.e., everyone I told about this article who then immediately screamed “SCHWEDDY BALLS,” I have accepted that I have no choice but to rank it high among the quintessential SNL Christmas sketches.
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